Sunday Summary (Y17#44)

Sunday is finally here and I was supposed to go to the gym for a cardio session today but it is raining cats and dogs outside and I actually decided to stay home. Rather naughty I know, but I have had a few nights where I have slept badly so I figured a full resting day would do me good. Thus todays planned cardio session has transformed into a studying day instead, perfectly okay too.

When it comes to training in general this week has been pretty much the same as the former, I am still going 5 days per week (this week being the exception) and lifting quite heavy weights during gym days followed by fat-burning low intensive ‘cardio’ sessions. It seem to work wonders for my body at this point so I don’t see a reason to change my routine. As I mentioned previously, I have come to truly enjoy the crosstrainer now which of course helps tremendously.  To find enjoyment in training is key to keep on going, it has to feel good simple as that.

Weight wise, I have now lost 13 kg since mid July which is a huge deal to me. Since I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s 2015 I have gained weight and had trouble losing weight no matter my efforts. I suspect that my thyroid and hashimoto’s started playing up a few years before the diagnosis was made as I had my first bad symptoms (migraine like headaches, trouble losing weight, hair loss etc) around 2011 but didn’t think much about it as I had no idea it could be linked to a thyroid condition. When it came to my weight gain, I just always thought I was the problem rather than my body working against me. Back then I certainly didn’t watch my food as intently as I do these days, mainly because I never had to previously and I still viewed myself as an active and healthy individual.

Needless to say, the past 6 years have been a disaster when it comes to my health and general well being. Psychologically it has been immensely draining to continuously gain weight despite being active 6 days per week and watching my food carefully.

Yep, please wrap your head around that statement for a minute or two because I am truly fed up with people saying that everyone can lose weight if they only put in the work and work hard for it. Trust me I have worked so hard for it, too hard actually. My body has not been able to stand the efforts I have made and I have had to give up exercise routines which haven’t been lean enough on a bigger body due to the extremely slow weight loss (if any). It is hard to all of a sudden view yourself as overweight and obese, when you have been fit as a fiddle for most part of your life. Just imagine working hard in the gym, running a couple of times per week, walking every morning for an hour and eating less than 1200 calories (most of the time around 1000) and yet GAIN weight. Yep, yep, yep wrap your head around that sentence too please. Because that is a reality for many Hashimoto sufferers.

I have no idea why my body all of a sudden have decided to go along with what I am doing when it comes to efforts to lose weight. It could be the medication finally kicking in and metabolism realising that it is time to rock and roll and burn some of that stored up fat. It could be the changes I have made to my training and food routine, or it could be the combination of it all. No-one knows and no-one can know for sure. All I know is that I have a very long and tedious way to go before I am back to my normal weight. And in all honesty, I am terrified and have been terrified about writing about my weight loss because I am so scared to jinx it. Every kilo that has disappeared also come along with the doubt whether it is ‘for real’ or simply toying with me. However, so far it seem to be genuine, and my fat percentage is going down along with the weight coming off. I just hope that it will continue this way, that my body finally is healing and at some kind of peace.

Lastly and in the spirit of this entry and its transparency; currently I have lost 13 kg from hard work in the gym, on the crosstrainer, on the rowing machine, by walking and by cutting out sugar (since long), carbohydrates, most dairy products and excessive fat. It is a lifestyle change, because I am not sure whether I ever will be able to go back to a diet which contains carbohydrates for instance. I have hopes that I will be able to have a meal or so whenever we go out for dinner or have guests. But it will never again be a part of my ordinary weekly food schedule, that is for sure. And the most fantastic thing is, I really don’t miss it. So, 13 kilo is gone but I still have 32 kgs left to lose which is a number so mind-boggling big that I barely can comprehend how I ended up here and still being alive. For someone who used to weigh 50-52 kg before Hashimoto begun, I realise that adding almost half of my former body weight is a huge strain on my frame, organs and joints. Thus, quitting is not an option, I will keep on fighting for reaching my normal weight again. I am more stubborn than you Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, you just wait and see!

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