As you may have noticed, I have not been too active on 365evermore in a while and this is the reason! I have simply needed some time to process all this amazing that has happened and rightly so I would say. Though this proposal was no surprise, as I actually really dislike surprises – the feeling when the ring arrived was a lot more overwhelming than I could imagine. I am a very rational person in general, I love science and believe that an engagement and marriage is something that should be discussed, decided upon together as it is a huge commitment both emotionally and financially. The emotional part I had no worries about as we have been a couple for over a decade and as such are pretty darn sure that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Though I do like some benefits of marriage, I wholeheartedly dislike other parts. My main problem with this institution (i.e. marriage) is the part where the government and society all of sudden will start to have a significant part in our lives. Sorry guys, I warned you I am not much of a romantic and extremely rational when it comes to decisions like this. If you have read Elizabeth Gilberts book ‘Committed‘ you may understand what I am talking about, if not, go read it as it is a fabulous book but also very thought provoking when it comes to the ‘socio-cultural’ and political concept of marriage. Another point and a valid one, is that neither of us are actually religious and as such have absolutely no ‘natural’ relationship to marriage as a religious institution manifesting the union of husband and wife.
However, evident of the proof above, we did eventually come to the conclusion that we did want to get engaged and eventually married despite not agreeing with everything that marriage represents. But during this time I also realised that I don’t have to agree with it all, I don’t have to view it as a ‘religious tradition’ or rites de passage. We are free to define it however we like. And to us, not too different to many others I would imagine, it is simply a beautiful way to celebrate and further manifest our love to each other- and to society as a whole. And I must say, wearing the ring is absolutely fabulous, because even though very little has changed, I still feel somehow different. I can only imagine how I will feel when the second ring is in place!
Let me just say a little about the ring as well, because we were quite particular when it came to material, gem and goldsmith. We both are huge nature- and wildlife lovers who enjoy many outdoorsy activities such as swimming, climbing, snowboarding, skiing, hiking, mountain-biking, trail-running and so on. Currently we are very fortunate and live in an area of Germany where there is a huge national park with plenty of trails, beautiful nature and fantastic wildlife in general. It is simply gorgeous and something we treasure immensely. To me, this love and appreciation goes hand in hand with taking an environmental responsibility. Buying an engagement ring was no exception to that rule. It was vital to us that our ring and gem left the smallest environmental dent as possible. This firstly meant that we wanted the ring itself to be made out of recycled gold. This is an environmental issue that sometimes is forgotten in the ‘engagement and wedding industry’, the disgraceful disaster that the gold mining industry is causing the environment. Secondly, we wanted to avoid using diamonds, because as most people are aware of today, there is many ugly problems related to the diamond industry and as such it was never really an option for us. It is important to realise that it can never be fully guaranteed that a diamond is conflict free (including those that are labeled as such) unless the gemstone is produced in a laboratory. Though I personally steer far away from diamonds I do actually love ‘shiny’ things (very much like Gollum and crows I suppose) and really wanted a beautiful gemstone in my ring. So when my partner introduced me to moissanite, a lab-grown gemstone which was first discovered over 100 years ago on a meteor that struck earth, I fell head over heels in love with both the gemstone and its marvellous history. To us there is no other gemstone that could be more perfect, or more romantic. So there it is, our story. An end to the former and a new beginning to all beautiful things to come!
For anyone that would like to get in contact with a fabulous, kind and much talented goldsmith, then please head over to Kristin Coffin’s webpage. You will not regret it!