Sunday Confession | To push yourself or not.

This has been one crazy week, training wise I have been fine – better than fine actually as I had my best run to date on Thursday. Legs were in perfect symbiosis with the heart and lungs and I felt as if I could have gone on forever, and I almost did. Until I remembered that I have very little to gain from that, and the importance of keeping to my original plan and as such hopefully stay away from unesessary injuries. My boyfriend and I often speak of this as he has much more of an ‘all in’ kind of personality, whereas I prefer to plan, research and I much rather take baby steps than jump in at the deep end. Though I realise that sometimes a gentle push into the deep end before you feel fully prepared is the right way to go, I do find it quite difficult to push myself at times. Or rather, to know when exactly it is the right moment to do so and when its time to hold back. I often think about how I as a former equestrian had to prepare both myself and the horse for the jump, how absolutely everything had to be carefully calculated. Every step approaching the obstacle was counted for, the pace and intensity was controlled and the intention of what was about to happen was introduced to the horse with the help of my own body, how I distributed my weight and movements. It is that very knowledge I am looking for in my current training, to simply know when to hold back and sit steady in the boat and when to bring up the sails and go full speed ahead. I suppose that it is as with everything else in life, with extended experience – deeper knowledge and understanding is also gained.

Version 2

But in all honesty, are we not all searching for the perfect balance in our lives? I certainly am, and for most part I must say that I have found it. Or rather, I have come to the conclusion that perhaps there isn’t a balance that is ongoing forever-ever, but instead a deeper, inner balance that is apparent in a more subtle way such as how we choose to handle mundane everyday situations. With this in mind, I suppose that it at times may be a-ok to keep on running some of those days when my body whispers ‘its ok, we can handle it‘. To allow myself to trust my body, though I am battling it (the Hashimoto bit) at the moment – I should still allow myself to believe that though my body may be troublesome it is also capable of creating those marvellous moments of magical ‘runners high’. And for that I am tremendously grateful.

How do You approach the concept of pushing yourself? Do you trust your body to hold it together just because your mind says so? Do you jump in with both feet first at the deep end or do you prefer a slow start with the ever so helpful inflatables? If you have the time, feel free to leave me a comment with your thoughts on this subject.

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