Even though July was a very stressful month (read previous post) I must say that I was still doing awesomely great training wise! I kept on doing my walks and somehow the training became even more important during this time, it was a way to do something and to be active brought me back to normality and there are no happy pills in the world that can beat the post-training feeling. However, I can admit that I was scared of failing with my food, as many of you know, emotional eating has been my biggest problem and still is a problem that I battle every now and then but mostly (99.9% of the time nowadays!) manage to win over which of course is great. But being vulnerable and scared is not the best situation to be in when it comes to trying to keep food intake under control.
But you know what, I did not slip even once, I didn’t go back to bad eating habits and more importantly I did not indulge in sweets at all, I just kept on as if it was just another day. It may sound like nothing to some of you, but it was an enormous win to me, to be able to “control myself” even in the midst of fear, sadness and vulnerability is HUGE to me, absolutely humongously huge! And yes, I do pat myself on the back for keeping at it but more importantly it brought forth the realisation that this whole changing eating habits and stop eating sweets is not something I just “force” myself to do anymore, it is now a habit, it has become a routine that just happens no matter what. It is now something that simply exists and keeps on happening even without me making an effort for it to happen, and that truly is bliss without an end.
A lot of the days in July were spent walking up stairs, stairs, stairs and then some more stairs! Throw in a couple of hills as well and you get the idea of what I was keeping myself busy doing. I had decided that it was time to strengthening my lower body and let my quadriceps, hamstrings and glutes do a bit of work. I actually really enjoy walking up stairs and hills as it really does challenge me quite a bit and I love the feeling of pushing myself and having to fight hard for those last steps. I am very stubborn and I like to sweat it out properly, I have never been into “nice training” i.e looking nice while training or even thinking about looking nice. To me training has always been full speed ahead or not at all, that is the way I am and how I function in most situations. This way of being does not leave much time to worry about how I look when I train, instead I try to focus on what I am doing and which muscle groups I am trying to target. In other words, the feel of it all is more important than the look of it!
Anyway, I guess you may wonder if I have been knackered due to walking up endless numbers of stairs? And the answer is, yes most definitely! But it has been so worth it though, my legs are a lot stronger and my bottom is…well, let us just settle for happier, perkier! Still a lot left to do when it comes to my training, but I will get there, this is only the beginning and I am already longing for the continuation.
I think that the whole worry about my health and what possibly could happen made me fight harder than before, made me want it more. I don’t really know why but I suppose that it is because I know that being overweight is not really helping anything when it comes to my bodily functions. Carrying all these excessive kilos around unfortunately positions me as a prime candidate for various diseases such as cancer, diabetes, coronary heart disease and many more not so pleasant side effects that could happen to me due to my overweight. Health is a huge factor to me for doing this lifestyle change, it is very little about looking good (if at all), instead it is about being good to my body and myself and being able to feel fantastic inside and out. So far I don’t have any known medical problems due to my overweight, but I am aware of how utterly important it is that I keep on fighting this battle and trust me I am keen on winning! I do think that this health scare made me once again realise exactly how very important it is that I make it through all the way. That I keep on pushing myself and my borders so that I eventually will reach the goal of being normal weight, cardio fit. strong and healthy.