I have now lost 3kg (6lb, pounds) and it is an amazing feeling to know that the changes I have made works. I don’t know why I am so scared of it not working since I am fully aware of the changes I have made- increased activity and decreased food intake (within reason) should equal a weightloss, its simple mathematics.
My problem is that I most of the time feel extremely disconnected to my own body and therefore also do not trust it to behave in an orderly way. I think it goes hand in hand with my somewhat distorted body image (of myself) and this is very odd, but most of the time I actually don’t feel fat (sorry for the f word but I prefer to tell it like it is!) don’t get me wrong, I know that I am, but I don’t feel it. This is very interesting since most big people that I know feel it all the time and often feel uncomfortable due to it. I too feel uncomfortable but it is not because I feel fat, it is for completely different reasons. This is where mirrors and photographs have become extremely important to me, not because they always tell it like it is (camera angles etc can make a huge difference and tell plenty of lies, not to mention the ”thin”-mirrors in clothes shops etc, boo!) but at least they show an image of me that is not something that I feel but instead is actual and very much there.
Anyway, back to the main topic, I am sure that there are some people that would have lost more weight in 3 weeks time but my goal was always to lose about 1kg (2lb) per week and it seem to work and for that I am ever so grateful. Every single victory in this battle counts and even though I do not – definitely not – celebrate this achievement with cookies or cake, I feel very, very proud of myself for keeping at it and not slipping. The journey has officially begun and I am keener than ever, bring it on!